UGH!!! Staff Development Day, it started with so much promise. I was actually excited by the itinerary. I really should know better.

I am struggling with a way to explain my long, disappointing day without it just sounding like a disgruntled teacher whining, so I am going to highlight the positive.

I got to have lunch, with grown-ups.

I got to pee without being interrupted, twice.

The day is over and I am one day closer to Thanksgiving Break!

It’s Friday, and I have a fresh bottle of wine!

I SURVIVED IEP DAY!!

It’s Thursday, October 27th, and the only reason I am certain of the date today is because it is IEP day. Otherwise ALL the days are just blending together like one endless loop.

Some brainiac downtown, in a quiet office, with daily lunch breaks, and a well defined start and end time to their day, decided that it makes more sense to have one (maybe two if need be) designated days a month to hold all IEP meetings. And even smarter, this idea requires the team of school site specialists to get together before school even starts to schedule the entire’s year worth of IEP meetings. Nothing says “you’re a valuable, contributing member of the IEP team” like scheduling the meetings without first checking the availability of the teacher or the parents of the student. What is also not considered, is how many one teacher may have in that one day!

Writing IEPs is a TON OF WORK! First, I have never written one shorter than 43 pages. But it is not just the length of the IEP but the collaboration with the team and parents ahead of time, the assessing the student, the thought behind where the student’s current level of functioning is, where they need to progress, and how exactly to write goals to get them there. Writing IEPs is mentally taxing and the actual meetings can be, depending on the people involved, even more so!

I initially had 4 IEPs scheduled for today. I was the only teacher with meetings scheduled. That’s a HUGE issue with other people scheduling your meetings for you. Lucky, lucky me! So that has been what I have been ferociously working on this past week. It’s not like I also have students to teach as well, right?!?! Lesson plans to develop and prep for!?! I was blessed with a pardon, and 2 of the parents simply could not get out of work to attend their pre-scheduled IEP time, so I did get to reschedule those for next week. Which does help, because after the 2 I had today, as well as the 2 observations from my favorite Frequent Flyer Parent this week, I am so mentally exhausted I have never been more grateful for the already open bottle of wine!

Time to recharge…Staff Training Day tomorrow. UGH!

My Frequent Flyer Parent Strikes again!

I lost track of the days! Working in two classrooms through me off, understandably. So when I learned this morning that the Sub was back, so I would be able to keep my observation appointment with my Frequent Flyer Parent, I wanted to cry! And SCREAM!

REALLY!! I’ve been a team player. I haven’t complained (out loud)! I’ve been really good!! WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED??!!

My Frequent Flyer Parent demands (yes, I do mean demands) to observe his child in every possible school situation before he deems us worthy of holding the (legally mandated) annual IEP meeting.

Ordinarily, I am very easy going. I have an open door policy for visitors. Admin visits frequently from my principal, to directors of education, to superintendents. Visitors do not stress me out. Usually because they are respectful and do not cause a great distraction to my classroom happenings, and get a clue quickly if my students are not loving them being there.

Except my Frequent Flyer Parent!!! He comes in and hijacks my class. When he is “observing” he wants it to be all about him and his child, regardless of the other students in the classroom. This stresses me out.

My Frequent Flyer Parent has caused occasions where he demanded so much attention that my other students went into full nuclear melt down and he still didn’t get a clue!

So today, when he started his usual interrogation tactics, I called him on the carpet and put a stop to it immediately. The last few days have been especially challenging for my students and my staff, and they do not deserve to have everything upturned to suit this one parent’s needs.

I am not a confrontational person; I don’t like it and it makes me feel gross inside, but today it was worth it! I am sure there is a complaint coming in my future but if being a team player hasn’t earned me any brownie points, and looking out for the best interest of ALL my students gets me in trouble, bring it on. My BS tolerance is completely depleted!

At this point I don’t even know what day of the week it is. I am just stuck on a tread mill. Science really needs to catch up to the needs of a Special Ed Teacher because never before has cloning sounded like a better idea!

My partner, who teaches another SPED class on campus, is still out on leave. Her sub is fabulous. Her sub is hard-working. Her sub is out sick! It is ridiculously hard in our district to get subs for SPED teachers. Not a surprise since we are pay our subs SO well! But most, if they even take the job once, never return. I do think this sub is actually sick, and not hiding in a pillow fort because Friday was such a long, hard day, but admin hasn’t been able to find anyone to replace her.

I hate being a team player that admin knows they can rely on. I wish I could be more like the grumpy, hardened teachers on campus that no one asks anything of because they have a well established reputation of “Don’t even Ask! I do MY job and only MY job!” I use to judge them, thinking very negative thoughts, but now I wonder if they are secretly the smartest teachers on campus.

I have a reputation of being that team player, being that someone you can turn to in hard situations to pull through, which means I have been teaching in 2 classrooms this week. Well, I am not sure if “teaching” can really label what I have been doing. I run to one room, start the students on a learning activity, tell the paraprofessionals what to do, and if they finish before I get back, what to do next. Then I run to the next classroom and do the same thing. I am lesson planning and prepping for two classrooms, crisis managing two classrooms, behavior managing two classes worth of students, but I don’t feel like I am actually teaching.

And let’s not forget…I am managing two classrooms full of adults! I am so sick of the sound of my own name! I am exhausted by adults asking me questions they could easily figure out for themselves. Honestly, I am just sick of thinking for everyone; I am tired of making all the decisions. One paraprofessional told me she doesn’t get paid enough to cover for when there is no teacher in the classroom. While I can’t argue with her on that point, I am certainly not being paid double salary for covering as the teacher in her classroom, and couldn’t we just be team players?! But then again, look where being a team player has gotten me?

You know what I am not too tired to do? Open a bottle of wine! Off to prep for another day of lessons.

Friday, October 14th…and nothing makes a Fun Friday more FUN then rain and intermittent power outages. Inside recess is so much more fun when you do not have any lights to brighten your way!!

All I can say about today is that I am super thrilled it is a Friday! If we had endured today and had to come back tomorrow, I am willing to bet my house a few of my staff members would be mysteriously sick tomorrow!

But the best part of today is that the internet was out ALL DAY! Arrived at work before 7 am and it was already out. No emails to check. The IEP system lives in the cloud, so I could not work on any of my upcoming IEPs (at least not on the computer). That was a fabulous gift. Sure I get my emails of my phone, and ATT had no issues, but if it is general knowledge that the internet is down, no one is expecting responses. SWEET!

I had the chance this morning before school to clean and reorganize, cut, prep and laminate (at least until the power fluctuation made the laminator wig out). Starting my weekend feeling a little less behind the 8-ball then I usually do, which offsets the sheer exhaustion I feel at entertaining my 21st century students on a rainy day without power.

Happy Wine Time!

Thursday, October 13th and this week has been off the hook!

My students’ less-than-desirable behaviors have met a new level of extreme. But that’s not what I want to talk about today!

I get my emails on my phone…it helps me keep up with the most important of the 70+ emails I can get in a day. Most I can just swipe to the right and delete because they have nothing to do with me, and then the subsequent “reply all’s” to the emails I’ve already deleted, because again, nothing to do with me!

Until this afternoon when I heard the alert that I have another email, and this time the alert sounded more like a bomb exploding! Not literally, but there was just something in the chirp that made me weary of opening that email.

In my inbox an email from the Director of Special Ed! She never graces us with direct emails from her. I can count on my fingers how many I’ve gotten that came directly from her email address and this one was a doozey! So maybe it’s a good thing she doesn’t email.

What actually took up two lines of text can be interrupted as saying, “I know you all were here at the district office just a couple of days ago for a mando training where we made you sit in a conference room and discuss the same topics we make you discuss every time you come for a mando training, and even though that would have been the perfect opportunity to discuss this, I decided sending an un-personal email with your new report card attached was a better way to go! Remember that it needs to be filled out for each student and go home the same day the gen ed students get there’s which is only a couple weeks away, so get started!!”

WAIT, WHAT!?!?!?! We are already drowning in paperwork, but now we have a ‘report card’?!?! Up until today, at each report card reporting time, we wrote progress reports on how each student was doing on each of their individual goals and sent that home for parents. Which leads to endless email exchanges, and further meetings with parents, but I do feel that parents have the right to progress reporting and not just annually at the IEP. Even when it leads to a ton more work!

Now we have a one-size fits all elementary report card for special ed students. Now ponder that for a minute. The parents of kindergarten students will get the same report card as parents of a 5th grader! Gen Ed has a report card for each grade level, but we’re only going to have one, and we’re going to send them home 3 times a year!! And students who are less academically able will be sharing report cards with students who are working somewhat closer to grade level work. Little Johnny who just learned how to hold a marker and trace a straight line in the 3rd grade will be bringing home a report card that grades him on writing a 5 sentence paragraph. That sounds helpful and supportive for parents?!?!

I seriously can’t wrap my brain around this! There are so many unanswered questions. Oh, and we could have had a conversation about this, at least had the opportunity to ask the questions just a few days ago, but instead we sat around and talked about writing legally defensible IEP goals, and implementing curriculum while incorporating IEP goals, and yadda yadda yadda!

My brain hurts and they only cure for that WINE! Lots of WINE!!

Friday, October 7th, and you may be wondering, after yesterday’s rant, how did I survive today?

Easy, I arrived super early before everyone else, I didn’t leave my classroom all day and I threw out the lesson plan in exchange for FUN FRIDAY!

When the going gets tough, the tough turn to shaving cream! And Glue! And in extreme circumstances, GLITTER!! All my favorites!

Today my class and I hunkered down and did craftivity all day and shut out the world. When my students went out to recess, I quickly reset my room and threw together the next art activity, and before I knew it (ok, not that quickly, my students are still my students) the day was over. Friday and day 42 in the Survived Column.

My classroom looks like fairies threw a keg party in it, and I am sure that the custodian is not thrilled by the sheer amount of glitter making my carpet sparkle, but I feel better at the end of my day. I will apologize to them next week. And maybe bake them some brownies!

OH, and super bonus! I have all the lessons planned and prepped I didn’t get to today, so Monday is already to go. Woo-Hoo! Taking the weekend off!!

So it’s Thursday, October 6th, and I have come to an important realization today: my BS tolerance is depleted! I can no longer take any more and my filter is holding on by a thin piece of duct.

Unfortunately I came to the realization in the middle of what can only be classified as a heated discussion with my program specialist. I can no longer tolerate hearing the same recycled excuses. When I hear her talk I have a mental image of her spinning the Wheel Of Excuses, landing on one and spewing it out at me, then spinning for another. She needs a bigger wheel with more options. I get everyone is stretched thin, over worked, not enough time in a week, yadda yadda yadda. Meanwhile I need classroom support, more importantly, my students need and deserve specialist support, and none of us are getting any attention.

And I told her so today. I told her it’s just not good enough. If no one that she supervises feels they are getting the attention they need, then she’s doing something wrong.

Honestly I would rather hear that roofs are caving in all over town, and when she is done digging out one classroom from the rubble she’ll move on the next. Even if that means she’s not helping mine first, it tells me she’ll stick around my room until my issues are under control.

Instead what I do hear in the under tone of her excuses is, “Suck It Up, help is not coming. Deal with it yourself.”

What I am dealing with (myself) is students in behavior crisis daily, like screaming, biting, hitting, collapsing to the ground, running and eloping away from us, exposing oneself, eating rocks/bark/leaves/twigs, or chewing on everything from classroom furniture, shoes, to the playground and chain link fencing.  My team and myself are sacrificing our own bodies to protect those of the other students, and to help lighten the gravity of the situation, we play over/under bruise count in the mornings before school. And during it all, I am actually managing to squeeze in some learning activities.

Off topic, here is my helpful hint I would like to share with all of you…otter pops make fabulous reusable ice packs! They stay colder longer than bags of ice, don’t drip and make a mess, and if a student accidentally gets a hold of one and bites it, they are non-toxic unlike other reusable ice packs! File that tidbit away for future use!

So feeling better for venting, I am off to redo my lesson plans. I thought I was so smart and tried to get an entire months view of what I wanted to accomplish, and in the first week of October, my month long plan is shot. After that I am going to continue researching classroom crisis behavior management. Last night I laughed my way through several websites…”when a student is exhibiting off-track behavior, it is best to wait them out”!! Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that. I will wait for them to decide to remove their teeth from my arm and begin their math activity.

The good news is I can do all of this with a glass of wine in my hand!!!!

Tuesday, October 4th, and I have reached a brand new level of exhausted! Last night I could not sleep…I just couldn’t turn my brain off thinking about things that need to be accomplished, not just in my classroom but the other one as well.

This double duty is killing me!

Doing all the thinking for 2 classrooms is exhausting!!

And today reached a new high ( or low, I am not sure which)! Twenty minutes before the end of day bell rang, I just couldn’t wait any longer to use the bathroom. I am human, and every so often I actually need to go pee. Imagine my selfishness! Some (and I mean most) days the only time I sit down is when I sneak off to pee!

But today I am still on the descent to a sitting position when someone knocks on the door asking if I am in there because they need me. Seriously?!?!?! I am not that important of a person! I do not have an over inflated ego where I think the world can not function without me for the 90 seconds I steal away in the bathroom. And not since my youngest was 3 have I had someone actually interrupt me by knocking on the bathroom door. PLEASE LEAVE ME BE if not for just a short moment I am in the restroom.

So that is all I have for tonight! I have a list longer than my arm of things to accomplish before school starts tomorrow and the motivation of a sloth tonight. UGH! Not a great combo but it’s time to pop the cork on a fresh bottle of wine. Maybe that will help.

Monday, October 3rd.

It can’t be Monday! My body and mind are way too exhausted for it only to be Monday. Monday implies that I just had 2 restful days off. I have a vague memory of days off, but it seems like such a very long time ago.

So how have I been spending my last days at school? WELL, first I am pulling double duty (of which I am very confident I will be financially compensated for~YEAH RIGHT). My SPED colleague is out on medical leave, and even though I hold the sub placed in her room in high esteem, she is still just a sub and therefore unable to do many things. LIKE…build IEP programs for new students, meet with parents, write and hold IEP meetings just to name a few. BUT, all of those things still need to happen, so guess who is first in line?! (Not really a hard conclusion to come to).

Last week both our classrooms had new students start. And, as I have shared before, we do not get a great deal of notice before new students start. Last week all the stars in our solar system aligned and I got a full 48 hours notice for the new students AND they started one day apart from each other. That was very giving of the front office. Wednesday and Thursday flew by in a flurry of details that needed to be ironed out, decisions that needed to be made, parents to meet for the first time, information to share, IEP programs to be built, and new students to acclimate to a new school.

So relieved I have a program specialist that drops everything to be on hand to help and support! (Really Google, all you have accomplished in 18 years and still no sarcasm font?!)

Oh, and if that was all I had going on! But NO! My frequent flyer parent also comes with an attorney! So any time he does not like an answer to an email, or he feels my IEP team and I just aren’t doing enough, he sics his attorney on me. There was a time when seeing an email from an attorney in my inbox would freak me out, but now it is just a nuisance. But one I get to delegate because I don’t get to answer his emails! I get to foreward the email my admin adding my comments if I have anything I want to share, they collab with our attorneys, and weeks later an email is drafted as a response. All at a cost more than I make in a year I am sure.

Oh, but the most recent email was priceless. Here’s the things about emails: they are date and time stamped! So when you email me, and say I didn’t share info I am required to with a parent, I can forward an email with the date and time stamp proving I did! Done deal!! I do love it when truth is on my side, and it is undeniable!!

So I am exhausted! I feel like I could drone on for several more paragraphs of all things that are not great at school right now, but that is not the kind of person I am. Plus my wine glass is empty!! So I am signing off for now, hoping I invent the energy to share tomorrow.

The crying done, now on to the wine 🙂