At this point I don’t even know what day of the week it is. I am just stuck on a tread mill. Science really needs to catch up to the needs of a Special Ed Teacher because never before has cloning sounded like a better idea!

My partner, who teaches another SPED class on campus, is still out on leave. Her sub is fabulous. Her sub is hard-working. Her sub is out sick! It is ridiculously hard in our district to get subs for SPED teachers. Not a surprise since we are pay our subs SO well! But most, if they even take the job once, never return. I do think this sub is actually sick, and not hiding in a pillow fort because Friday was such a long, hard day, but admin hasn’t been able to find anyone to replace her.

I hate being a team player that admin knows they can rely on. I wish I could be more like the grumpy, hardened teachers on campus that no one asks anything of because they have a well established reputation of “Don’t even Ask! I do MY job and only MY job!” I use to judge them, thinking very negative thoughts, but now I wonder if they are secretly the smartest teachers on campus.

I have a reputation of being that team player, being that someone you can turn to in hard situations to pull through, which means I have been teaching in 2 classrooms this week. Well, I am not sure if “teaching” can really label what I have been doing. I run to one room, start the students on a learning activity, tell the paraprofessionals what to do, and if they finish before I get back, what to do next. Then I run to the next classroom and do the same thing. I am lesson planning and prepping for two classrooms, crisis managing two classrooms, behavior managing two classes worth of students, but I don’t feel like I am actually teaching.

And let’s not forget…I am managing two classrooms full of adults! I am so sick of the sound of my own name! I am exhausted by adults asking me questions they could easily figure out for themselves. Honestly, I am just sick of thinking for everyone; I am tired of making all the decisions. One paraprofessional told me she doesn’t get paid enough to cover for when there is no teacher in the classroom. While I can’t argue with her on that point, I am certainly not being paid double salary for covering as the teacher in her classroom, and couldn’t we just be team players?! But then again, look where being a team player has gotten me?

You know what I am not too tired to do? Open a bottle of wine! Off to prep for another day of lessons.